I Know

I know I’m not the person I strive to be,
Often I wonder where is the real me?
She’s hidden inside the labyrinth called my mind
I know it will soon force you to leave me behind.
Perhaps narcoleptic, most days I regret this
These feelings inside me, my life seems so hectic.
I know this mindset all too well,
Trying to escape this mild version of living hell.
I often stop to look around
To find my life produces no sound.
Chaos, conflict, confusion, calamity;
I know exactly why you’d question my sanity.
Gravity aims to pull me down, both body and spirit,
I know, you already told me you don’t want to hear it.
You simply never see what I know as reality,
One day you’ll wonder why it resulted in casualty.
I know I’m foolish, selfish, and confused
But give me reason; what do I possibly have to lose?
I loathe the way my mind seems to be;
Disenchanted with life and that’s not the real me.
I know what I am, and I know what is wrong,
If only you could comprehend the lyrics to my favorite songs.
Maybe then you would finally see
This state I’m in just shouldn’t be.
Instead of criticizing my musical taste,
Show me my efforts to be heard are not going to waste.
I know you don’t understand, so I’ll find someone who will,
I just hope with this condition, my relationships I do not kill.
Why, oh why has my mind fallen ill?
I’m slipping away, slowly, slowly;
Crying out to the heavens, “Father God, please hold me!”
And hold me He does as he calms my fears,
This is how I know He is always near.
He frees my mind and renews my spirit,
The story I tell, He’s willing to hear it.

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